its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
