i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
