Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
