Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
