i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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