i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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