I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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