Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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