the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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