Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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