I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
