he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
