I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
