so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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