ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
