also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
