I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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