dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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