Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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