He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
