you have to choose: penises or morals?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
