Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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