i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
