She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
