I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
where are my eyebrows?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
