I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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