porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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