What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
