dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize