I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
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So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
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Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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