u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
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Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
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Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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