I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
