just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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