Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
