Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
