I need help removing her.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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