please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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