So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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