I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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