just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
