theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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