belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
porn star boner night. come get it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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