my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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