chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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