**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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