Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
