I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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