But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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