hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
