He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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