The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
