Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
