We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Princesses don't give blow jobs
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize