I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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