I wish i was in the wii world.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
