It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
