At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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