dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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