Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
