I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
