I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
